The Foundation for a Meaningful Life
Kindergarten - Grade 9 in Southborough, MA
Fay Magazine: Winter 2024

Empowering Minds

Daintry Zaterka '88
In a world that can at times feel unpredictable and overwhelming, it has become more important than ever to support children’s sense of wellbeing and equip them with the tools they need to understand and manage their emotions and their relationships with others. Fay’s core value of Wellness of Mind, Body, and Spirit is embodied in the way that social- emotional learning is taught and supported throughout a child’s experience at Fay. The goal: to build a community where every student feels valued, supported, and included.
Origami is hard, especially if you are seven and your scissors skills are still developing. Second graders spent a world languages class this fall making origami coquí, a tiny frog species native to Puerto Rico. The task required precise cuts and folds, and world languages teacher Erin Overstreet knew that students might get frustrated with the process. So, before they started, she previewed the steps of the task and the social-emotional skills students would need to succeed. The class discussed the challenging task and took turns sharing positive affirmations like, “I can do hard things” or “I will keep trying.” During the project, students gave encouragement, complemented each other’s work, and called out aspects of the project where they were finding unexpected success.
 
“The students showed a lot of self-awareness,” notes Head of Primary School Katie Knuppel, who points to this as an excellent example of how social-emotional learning is woven into the classroom experience. “They were talking throughout the lesson about how they were feeling and dealing with frustration, and they were asking for help or helping others.”
 
Fay students engage in social-emotional learning (SEL) throughout the day—in class, at recess, on the athletic field, at lunch, and in the dorms. However, just because SEL learning is ubiquitous does not mean that those skills should be left to develop independently. “When we expect kids to have certain social and emotional skills, we need to make sure that we’re explicitly teaching those skills,” School Counselor Shannon Dugger points out.
 
Wellness
 
Beginning in Primary School, SEL is woven into classwork and community norms. Faculty teach SEL skills directly in weekly wellness classes, where topics this fall have included mindfulness, self-regulation, developing a growth mindset, and gratitude. The wellness curriculum K-9 is based on the CASEL 5 Framework, which addresses five core competencies at each developmental level: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. “Wellness is the class where students come together in a supportive, engaging way that makes a lasting impact on their overall wellness,” says Wellness Department Chair Heidi Qua. “The skills they develop and strengthen here will stay with them throughout their academic careers and beyond.”
 
In a class led by Shannon and Director of Counseling Services Vi-Anne Brown this fall, second
graders started class with a “mindful minute” and talked about how sitting quietly and reflecting can help their brains refocus.
The topic of the day was the importance of having a growth mindset. Students discussed the difference between a growth mindset, or “bubble gum brain,” where you can learn and incorporate new ideas, and a fixed mindset, or “brick brain,” where your brain is stuck on one idea.
 
Topics like mindfulness continue to spiral through the Lower School wellness curriculum in combination with developmentally appropriate additions like active listening, conflict resolution, cliques, and nutrition. In a wellness class on celebrating differences this fall, fourth graders read David Shannon’s A Bad Case of the Stripes, about a girl who secretly loves lima beans but doesn’t want to admit it because she is too focused on fitting in with her friends. Head of Lower School Kaitlyn Cronin asked each student to write a letter in their journal to the main character about the importance of always being yourself. After they were finished, Kaitlyn asked them to cross out the character’s name, replace it with their own, and share it with the class. Then, students took turns volunteering “unpopular” things that they enjoy. “We want the students to understand that they can be proud of who they are and that they shouldn’t change themselves to fit in,” says Kaitlyn.
 
Most wellness classes in K-9 start with a check-in, where students share how their day is going. The responses range from the first grader who shares they are missing a parent who is traveling to a seventh grader who is an “8” on a scale of 1 to 10 because they did better on a math test than they thought. In Upper School, wellness topics this fall included self-awareness, identity, and healthy friendships. Eighth graders presented “My Personal Story” with their peers, sharing slideshows and art depicting the essential aspects of their lives, like siblings who have made an extraordinary impact and passions like an instrument or sport essential to their identity.
 
Layers of Support
 
The relationships that students develop with their homeroom teachers in Kindergarten through grade four, with homevisors in grades five and six, and with advisors in Upper School, are central to the web of support within the Fay community. In Primary School, each homeroom meets in a circle to start the day. Students greet one another by name, share news, and play games to build community and strengthen the bonds between students. This daily ritual moves at a leisurely pace, grounding students in their classroom community and the norms of kindness and respect for one another before they begin their daily work.
 
Throughout Fay, homeroom teachers, homevisors, and advisors act as the hub of information for each student, a mechanism that ensures academic and social issues are addressed and identified quickly. As Upper School students move between various classrooms and teachers during the day, advisory groups also give students a home base at school.
 
This fall, Upper School advisory groups brainstormed the qualities they look for in friends and trusted adults and combined the shared characteristics into a motto that expresses their ethos and reinforces their connection as a group. Then, students created a poster or banner to display in their advisory room. Upper School math teacher Christina Berthelsen and her eight advisees created the motto, “Kind, ambitious, and fun, we include everyone!” The advisees of Director of Student Life Joe Buteau, who came up with the advisory motto challenge, decided that their motto would be, “Be kind, be cool, be confident!”
 
 The advisory curriculum encourages students to reflect on the SEL and Fay skills they are developing throughout the year, and advisory groups are technology-free to facilitate opportunities for the group to truly connect when they meet. The goal is for students to move on to secondary school equipped with all the academic and social-emotional skills they need to be successful. “When our students leave Fay, we want them to be more independent, with self-
advocacy and general life skills they can use in and out of the classroom,” says Head of Upper School Jake Sumner. SEL themes are further explored in each division’s Morning Meeting, where Primary School meets once a week, Lower School meets twice per week, and Upper School gathers three mornings a week. This fall, each division addressed monthly themes of identity, community, and gratitude through Morning Meeting activities and speakers.
 
Students find another layer of support in groups like Community Connections, a student-led, faculty-advised work- shop group that discusses issues like student identity, diversity, and inclusion in a climate that encourages respectful and open listening and sharing, as well as affinity groups such as the Students of Color and Q&A. This fall, Fay launched a Lower School Community Connections group for students in grades five and six. “Part of my job is creating spaces where students and adults can show up fully as themselves and listen, share stories, and ask questions,” says Director of Equity and Inclusion Jill Anthony. “These groups provide a sense
of comfort for many students, and the students can engage in conversations that often continue beyond those spaces.”
 
Team Approach
 
Across the divisions, faculty focus on SEL at the student, grade, and community levels. In Primary School, homeroom teacher huddles and specialist teams meet with Katie and Shannon regularly, and teachers in the Lower and Upper Schools meet in grade-level teams once per rotation. While faculty occasionally discuss individual students who need support, more often, the meetings focus on taking the temperature of the grade or community to identify larger needs. For example, one Lower School team meeting this fall identified a class where poor student communication was causing persistent problems. Instead of only addressing individuals, the grade-level team brought Shannon in for a lesson to the whole class on when different communication styles are appropriate, and the students reflected on the type of communicator they want to be.
 
This year, the Student Life Team, led by Joe Buteau, has been focused on creating intentional opportunities to build relationships among students in different divisions. The Student Life Team includes Katie Knuppel, Kaitlyn Cronin, Jake Sumner, Jill Anthony, Heidi Qua, Shannon Dugger, Director of Counseling Service Vi-Anne Brown, Assistant Head of School for the Educational Program Judi O’Brien, and Service Learning Coordinator Cecilia Owens. The team meets weekly to discuss community-building initiatives and connect the work done in advisory and Morning Meetings to strengthen each student’s sense of belonging. One new initiative this year has been once-a-month Community Mondays, where students gather in different community groups to participate in activities focused on that month’s SEL theme. In September, students shared the excitement of representing the Red Team or the White Team as they organized themselves on MacAusland Field into a letter “R” or “W.” In October, students met in mixed-division community groups. They spent time getting to know one another and engaging in Halloween-themed trivia. In December, students gathered to make red and white gratitude garlands, with each student contributing a square describing something they are grateful for. “My role is to focus on the student experience and student growth across the grades,” says Joe. “Community Mondays are an opportunity to tie our SEL work together, creating another layer of community for our students.”
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